Wishing UpON a sTAR
nothing much actually, coz' not much ppl know. think only honey and eugene know about the state i was in last week.. but i just wanted to type something here. hmmm...
it was a hell week. and i have been so busy that i didn't know what was the purpose of doing all those things. been leading a damn hectic life since school re-opened. and i had been doing and rushing things for the sake of doing them. and i was always tired... psychologically and physically.
and it was only on this sunday. with the help of eugene, i suddenly realised that i'd been so sensitive towards everyone and things around me (especially eugene) lately... i became damn emotional vulnerable. and i could just start tearing when i was alone or even when i was talking to ppl. and tt was a bad thing. i dun cry easily. at least in the past, i did not. and i thought of everything negatively. like the whole world was better than me. i felt so inferior to everyone and everything. hmmm... i had no idea why i was feeling so lowly of myself.
i just wanted to be alone. i din wan to talk to anyone except eugene. i din wan to go anywhere unless he's around. such a loner. hmmm... a loser more likely. HAHAH...
i did not show but deep down, i was not ok... i just felt stressed. but i tot tt's a healthy kind of stress, coz' life in NUS isn't a bed of rose. and i tot i would be fine. but i was wrong. tt stresss was something new. it was the strongest pressure i ever felt in my life and i just refused to admit tt then, thinking tt i could handle it well. but i was kinda wrong... coz' everything just went wrong in all possible ways.
a word, a sentence from anyone would just break my heart. i dunno why i become so UNlike myself. so weak emotionally..
well.. all those things scared me seriously. and i was feeling so pathetic...
"who am i?"
figuring tt out now. but i'm fine. getting better. bitching helps, relieve stress = ) guess i just need to relax... take a break.
and i am intending to get my confidence back in no time! = )
pray for me k... tt Lord be with me at all time, and give me strength and courage to face anything in this world. Amen...
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9:26 PM.
