Wishing UpON a sTAR
so tired...
whenever i set expectation on something, things usually mercilessly show me the opposite... reality is cruel i guess.
i wan to score high, but paper turned nasty
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i wan to cry, but tears refuse to fall.. perhaps i have no more tears.
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i wan to spend more time with u, but ur priorty doesn't allow this to happen. and u pangseh me.
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i wan to tell u everything, but u dun have time for me
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i wan to talk to u, but u dun like the idea of talking
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and to think tt i am still dumb enough to want to spend all my time with you, even at the expense of other things.. like study. tell me i am stupid.
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i also wan to tell you that, TJ was my life. Council was my second home... and both still playing an important part in me.. nothing can replace that.. will u please stop hating tj...? coz' i had my best memory/time there... will u pls respect that...? and, u met me there dear... considering the fact that it's the place where u met me, shouldn't u be glad...? everytime u told me u hate TJ, really upset me. it's like a sharp knife stabbing into my heart.
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lastly, i wan to tell u that i know church is always ur first priorty, and i am second. but i do hope that when i am sad, u can be around.. i dunno how u can do that... i am not asking u to forsake God, but i wan to tell u that there are times i really really need you. tell me that God will share my burden and the misery. but, if all i need is God, then what are you for...? Why do we need each other?
sorry sorry sorry... u've told me thousand and one time, and i hope u mean it.
i dunno why i am typing all these... when eugene doesn't read my blog. sigh. WAT AM I DOING?!
sigh. test sux. relationship hurts. think i am getting more sick = my cold will never recover.
*headache
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7:24 PM.
