Wishing UpON a sTAR
i am so so pissed!!
i am losing eugene to SAF! damn it.
there was church service in eugene's church on saturday.. being really nice, i decided not to be late and reached there punctually.. but eugene was not there yet.. and everybody started asking me where was him.. i din know his whereabouts, so i said perhaps still in the camp... and true eonugh, he was still stuck in camp... so i was left there without my boyfriend... but it's ok, coz' at least i had a few friends in his church. so things weren't very bad. but still, feeling upset and got lost in little india, i decided to walk to bugis from little india... alone... and dejected.
i walked past OG and went to shop there as there was a sales. but feeling abandoned and neglected.. he called when i just reached OG... he said that he had just reached the church, and asking where i was.. i said bugis.. and tt's all.. i was hoping he could at least ask if i were alone..
feeling even worse, i tried on few heels and few bottoms, and decided to buy a white skirt. i felt better but the loneliness lingered. i reached home at 830... and late at night, he joked about buying me a bunch of roses which made me really happy. though i know that he was just saying that to make me happy... he will never buy me one..
and then.. i met him today. and happily, he told me that some idiotic asshole actually brought a mobile phone along to field camp.. and as a result, the officers BAN everybody from bringing a handphone to the camp, let alone using it in the camp... i feel like giving that idiot a good bash for 1) not able to follow simple instruction. 2) to have make everybody to suffer with him! coz' i am sure there are many other guys inside are ATTACHED! and i am sure some of their girlfriends can be MORE unreasonable than me. BUT STILL, the thought eugene can't sms at night really upsets me.. i mean, he already dun message me every night coz' of the strenous training and out field camp.. and even when he's out on saturday and sunday, his schedule is like so packed that, i hardly able to squeeze into his timetable and he dun reply me instantly... and when i managed to be with him, there are his friends around. we were seldom alone. i mean... HEY, I AM HIS GIRLFRIEND. but nvm, anyway, my point is that i really value those messages he managed to send me here and there... but with things happening like that, i feel like i am NOT ATTACHED. it's like as though i DON'T even HAVE A BOYFRIEND. i understand it's not his fault, i am trying to be reasonable. but emotion overshadow my reasoning ability! i am NOT happy! really...
i dun understand why model couple broke up. i dun understand why they can break up when they have each other all the times.. i dun understand why i have to be so patient with eugene.. i mean i know. the reason is that i like him. but still! i dun like it. i tot waiting is bad. but keep waiting is really BAD...
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7:53 PM.
