Wishing UpON a sTAR
Bad mood. I am in a very bad mood now.. Perhaps not so much of bad mood.. it’s more of unhappiness. I feel unhappy. Truly unhappy… I am unhappy with everyone, everything… note, I am sure not suffering from hormonal imbalance or PMS, whatsoever.. but I just feel unhappy… I dun feel like talking, I dun want to socialize around. I wan to be alone.. but at the same times, I hope my phone will ring… be it a call or a message… I was holding the phone with me everywhere I went to, secretly hoping that someone out there thought of me and decided to drop me a hi or something, but there was none.. maybe I am responsible for this state that I am in… I should have taken some initiative, but I dun feel like talking! Yet, I hope there is somebody who will care for me… not just in the period when we were spending time together, having fun, but also even after that… isn’t this all friendship is about? Maybe it’s my fault again; I am not initiative enough to organize outing, to keep contact with others, etc. so others jolly well forgotten the existence of me, like I do for them… man, I am such a sole loser.. a lonely one that is..
I am not sure if I am angry at anybody out there now… blaming them for not being around when I need them.. but who am I kidding with? I am just lying to myself, trying to put some blames on others… I refuse to TELL them how I felt.. THEY WON’T KNOW I am sad if I dun tell them! I was like expecting them to have some kind of telepathy thing with me, thinking that THEY KNOW what am I thinking all the time. Crap. AM I nut?! Who am I kidding… myself…
And GET ALIVE! U are not as popular as last time! Stop thinking that others will approach u and SAY, “ HELLO.” Stop thinking that u are like so so important when u are non-existent. Stop thinking that u are pretty and many guys are after u. THAT WAS PAST. Get alive ck… everything changes… dun stuck at the past glory..
yes, i am unhappy with myself.. very unhappy in fact...
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11:16 PM.
