Wishing UpON a sTAR
well.. i kind of recovered from some form of depression.. i think... coz' at least i'm not so depressed now... it's really good to talk our ur problems i guess...
I am thankful that eugene is here all the times when he knows i am in deep depression. He tried to sms me in the morning, even in the afternoon when he was having lunch. I thought it's really sweet of him to accompany me this way... especially in those retarded days when i dismiss damn early and was alone. Everytime i receive his sms just makes my day~ ^_^ guess i should just try to see things differently... like wat everybody said..
yes, i am not entirely a loner. i have friends. just that i dun bother to make them closer to me.. i dun like the idea of me exposing myself completely to the rest. i prefer to remain as a.. say... unpredicable or sth? hmm.. just wan to keep a distance between us, isn't it good? before we got too close and things get messy? protective mechanism or am i just being purely selfish? hmm.. i dunno? just take two of the guys in business as examples. they are really nice and friendly ppl, but sometimes, they just like to talk so much. and the thing is i dun really wan to open my mouth, and communicate? hmmm.. it's like so ONE-WAY thing.. and i dun wan to like waste their times since i am not entirely interested, why they just back off and found others who will definitely found them interesting? hmmm.. or perhaps, i wasn't in the best of my moods then. nevertheless, i am avoiding one of them now.. ahhaa... well.. i think i am thinking too much. hmmm... maybe he's avoiding me too! hahahhhah..
ignore those two newbies, i also have friends like sam, rx, jac, sharon, eileen, stella, linus, jing, dawn, marcus, carol, etc, even some pri sch frens, some sec sch frens and jc friends. SEE! the list is like never ending! HA! so actually i got many frens. just i din look for them.. i guess, seldom talk/see each other doesn't mean they dun care. hmmm.. just like me, i dun usually meet them or talk to them, but i do care for them! so i guess, it must be the same.
so much of frens. i am working on my studies now.. things still alright.. not realy lagging behind, except statistics... not that i dun understand. but just that there seem to have a BIG GREY CLOUD blocking me seeing things clearly. hahaha..
but i still haven't done anything to that task i assigned to.. i only mass email everybody... well.. if i dun get any reply, i will call them on friday, if i FEEL LIKE IT.. i know this sounds terribly irresponsible. but i dun care. coz' i actually joined this unwillingly. i din wan to join. but edmund pulled string and stuffs... so me and stella got in together.. and i cannot turn down the damn offer coz' i told stella to try and she ACED the interview... while i failed it. and apparently the head hates me. she thinks i cannot work. and she totally underestimate my ability. i hate ppl look down on me. so, i am not going to do ANYTHING for her. coz' i am still very pissed with her. i wan to quit. seriously. but i dunno how.. and i dun wan to offend anyone.. sigh.. guess i will just have to work RELUCTANTLY...
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5:13 PM.
