Wishing UpON a sTAR
ok.. so we kind of trashed things out on sunday.. it went well.. we are alright.. as in we are always alright. i mean, i feel very much better.. and the reason why he din meet me on sat was becoz' it's irene's birthday.. and since i never attended to any of his church related things, he know i won't go, so din even ask me.. hmm.... i accepted this.. coz' i found it to be true to certain extent.. can't blame him..
i am the one blocking out anything got to do with christianity.. not sure if i am fear of it or intimated by the force behind.. i dun wan to get close to it.. like when i got too close, i will get burn or sth.. hmm... weird har..
anyway, recently, my sister bought some cute bible story books with colour pictures.. so cute tt i can't stop myself from reading it!! ahahhaha and as i continue.. i found it.. to be quite interesting? hmm... and i think.. i start to believe God is really quite BIG.. as in.. powerful. yes, i admit tt i basically believed in all kind of gods... but then.. i think.. now i can see the difference? the god, father of jesus, is like.. more powerful than any.. for He created things, maybe even other gods? and other gods, eg the chineses worship guan yin? we worship her becoz' of her great kindness she showers to everyone. but it's only her great kindness.. but God is like.. different? he has everything. big heart, great kindness, teach man to be good, do impossible things, etc, sounds really good and BIG, right?
ahahhaha... think my undesrtanding to christianity is still shallow... and my words to describe is still limited.. but then. i am still in the mid of exploring.. hope i can see things through soon!
i am broke... terribly broke.. in this month, i spent more than 1000!!! 250 for mom.. 400 for KL trip.. 50 for da jie.. 150 for phonebills.. sigh... not including MONEY FOR FOOD AND TRANSPORT! which is around 350?! SIGH.. i am broke.. i feel broke.. and i so sad.. hahahha..
and one more thing.. i am not BOASTING. but i am serious!! the ppl there in the office are not working! they are obviously slacking!!! where the hell are their integrity?! ppl pay us to work!!! not to slack! oh man.. i am sooo... AFFECTED BY ppl who simply slack around and acting like very busy.. like hello.. they ain't even HALF as efficient as me.. damn angry.. yes, i have this righteous thing in me.. but ain't we are supposed to have this thing?! argh! angry... fine! i will
just do my work then! ignore the rest of the slackers!
so much of thinking today.. hmm.. sleepy...
thank god for answering to my whispers..
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5:17 AM.
